One Saturday afternoon, while finishing off a lesson, my wrist cracked quite painfully and started swelling up. Three hours later, in agony and with no difference in the swelling, I looked at Mum and said 'something is really wrong'. I went to the hospital where they took x-rays and the only thing they said was that I had growth plates. (Considering I'm 6 feet tall already, I didn't want to be growing any more!)

I went to the doctor to get an explanation of what was happening and he recommended I see a orthopedic surgeon, since with the bones in the wrist, it is quite hard to determine when something is wrong.

Off to the specialist I went, and we were to develop a, uh, rather strained relationship. He told me it could either be a broken wrist or this rare disease called Kienbocks. Doing his best not to reassure me, he sent me off to have a bone scan. The bone scan showed a 'hot spot' where the lunate bone was, and just to be really sure, he also told me to have an MRI done. The results came back positive for KD.

He admitted to knowing next to nothing about KD, only that it was rare and it didn't have a cure. He told me to look it up on the website, and no offense to anyone, what I read terrified me. My Mum came home to find me crying at the computer as I read about the pain, the loss of independence, and what the end result was. I couldn't believe this was where my life was heading.

For the next few months, I tried to cope with everything that was happening and battle this 'thing'. We tried splints, and casts, and I was planning on having an operation in February, when I chose to have a cast, because I kept being told I was young, and healthy, and there was a chance I might heal myself, but I couldn't uncut my wrist.

I was terrified I was making the wrong decision. What if I had the operation too soon and ruined my chances of healing? What if by not having the surgery I risked the disease deteriorating my bones too much?

I felt like I had no guidance, and my friends and family struggled alongside me. They all wanted to say the right thing, make it all better, but they felt so powerless as I spent restless nights not being able to sleep due to stress and pain. Other 'friends' pulled away from me, thinking I was using it as an excuse and 'faking'.

I began to feel isolated and got kicked out of my studies. My ex was so afraid to touch me in case he did more damage, and hated seeing me watch from the sidelines, as I could no longer participate in my favorite activities, such as snowboarding, rock climbing, or horse riding. Even now I feel like I'm whining, since I'm sure other people have stories similar, or worse, to mine.

Then my specialist came back from an Interstate conference with an idea for surgery. He would drill the lunate bone in the hope that this would increase the blood flow to the area and help the lunate to regenerate. He was very cautious, and I went in for my first surgery in late April. My vague memories from the operation were embarrassment, as I think I flashed everyone in there as they removed my arm from the gown. I also managed to scare the nurses in recovery, because they thought I had stopped breathing, when in actual fact I was practicing my yoga breathing, trying to control the pain.

Recovery was fairly easy, a slight loss of movement, but I saw a physio for that. Blessed relief for about a month and a half. No pain. I felt normal again and began to hassle my TAFE about letting me back in to continue my studies. I felt like my life was beginning to move forward again, well....until the pain started again, in both my wrists.

Back to the specialist I go, who seems to take no notice of me, but to recommend x-rays. Completely pissed off with the treatment, I begin to look for another specialist. The only one had a 3 month waiting list *sigh*. In between, I saw a Rheumatologist to rule out any other problem which might be hiding underneath the KD. Blood test and physical examination ruled out things such as Lupus disease and rheumatoid arthritis, but he did recommend taking fish oil tablets. I was willing to try anything. Well almost.

I got sick of everyone playing doctor with me, saying things like "you should have more calcium in your diet, that will work", or "it's cause you grew to fast". I mean honestly, if it was that simple, don't they think I would have tried it? No matter how I explained it, there faces still said "calcium".

"It won't rain all the time, and the sky won't fall forever, and though the night seems long, your tears won't fall forever."

Then my luck started to change. I went to the new specialist, who had a cancellation, and he had actually seen KD before! He talked to me as a person and talked in depth about my condition. He answered my questions and booked me to have an MRI done on both wrists. The results were 'surprising' and I think quite confusing for him. He showed me the MRI taken in October where my lunate bone was like transparent swiss cheese, and September where the lunate bone was hardening and redefining itself into the lunate shape.

We can't say for sure what helped me, or if all factors helped me. All I know is, I'm slowly recovering. I still have pain, and have to see a hand therapist twice a week. Oh yeah, my left wrist is repetitive strain injury so that should fade too. The only sign that I'm still recovering, is that I still have to wear a brace for work or driving, and the four small holes that look like fang marks around where my lunate bone would be, and they too will fade.

Comments, corrections, or suggestions related to these pages may be directed to DarkerBlue.

Comments or questions in any way concerning Kienbock's Disease are best directed to the Yahoo! Kienbock Disease Support Group.